


Pretending He's Beside Me

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, Eponine!Marco, Les Misérables AU, M/M, Marius!Jean, Sad Ending, Singing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 15:04:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1822765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The beginning of a revolution that needs to happen and a young boy is in love with one of its leaders. Sadly that boy is in love with another. (A JeanMarco Les Miserables AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretending He's Beside Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is like a record or something. Two fics in one day, this is actually better written then my last fic.

The day had been so beautiful earlier but now clouds are rolling in ruining the perfect day we could have had. I wandered the streets hoping my father wouldn’t notice my absence. It only took me eighteen years to realize that him and my mother were not nice people. They always scammed every person who passed them instead of working for an honest living.

 

I could see ahead in the street there was a rally and there he was, the brave Monsieur Kirschstein leading it with a few others rallying all the other boys and charging them for the upcoming revolution. I would have joined them but if my parents caught word that I was there they would be very upset and I do not want them to take what little money I have been saving.

 

However I still walked over to the edge of the crowd, all the ones leading looked so determined, so passionate. They know our country needs to be fixed up and they are going to do something about it. Monsieur Kirschstein and I believe Monsieur Jaeger are the two who seem the most passionate for the cause especially Monsieur Kirschstein.

 

“Viva la France, viva la France,” they began shouting and soon everyone in the crowd joined in on the excitement. Even I did too.

 

The joy, the excitement, the fire within everyone was being ignited through these ‘barricade boys’ as they liked to be called. All the people started to go their separate ways and walk off I stood at my spot for a few moments longer then the rest. I noticed from the corner of my eye a more wealthy older gentleman grabbing at Monsieur Kirschstein and yelling at him. I walked a couple of steps forward towards him but the man let go and I swore I heard him calling him his son. I looked over at them with a shocked expression but Monsieur Kirschstein looked over and saw me. I turned away and headed back to the street along with all the other boys who were present at the rally.

 

I walked back to my small apartment space I call a home and sat on the mattress that laid on the ground that I called my bed. I changed out my scarf to the blue one because my red one felt too flashy to wear right now. Outside my room I saw trudging up the steps was Monsieur Kirschstein heading up to his own home. I finished tying up my scarf and slowly walked up the stairs to his room. He was shoving papers into a large black trunk. He turned and looked at me, I backed up from the doorway and gave him a sheepish smile. He returned his own.

 

“Hello Marco were you at the rally earlier?” he asked his with honey colored eyes staring directly at me. I was blushing, I just know it.

 

“I saw you talking to an older gentleman earlier,” his expression sharpened, “I know you’re not poor. You don’t need to live in a place like this.”

 

He stood up, his smile returned to his face. “Oh Marco I have my reasons for living here,” he leaned in and was a mere inch away from my face, “and besides my father no longer wants to act like he has a son since he found out my plans.

 

“Oh,” I backed up a few inches, “I’m sorry about that.”

 

“It’s fine and I’m closer to you know,” now my blush was bright and vibrant I could tell, “you’re one of my closest friends Marco.”

 

He walked past me and skipped down the steps before him. I guess this may be the one sided romance I have been fearing. I slowly stepped down each step and left the building.

 

I walked along the street aimlessly but my lack of an aim led me to my parents current area of scamming.

 

“Marco,” my father grabbed my arm and threw me against a wall near an opening, “What are you doing you should know your place with us watching out for the law.”

 

I stood at the wall as he walked into the opening talking to who I presume to be my mother. I know you shouldn’t feel hatred towards your parents but… but I do. I never asked to be their son.

 

My father walked up to a short gentleman with a stern expression and with him was a young girl, probably a year or so younger than I. She had beautiful long black hair that was carefully curled in ringlets, she was wearing the most darling off white lace dress, and she had a red lace parasol by her side. But her face was very familiar but I could not put my finger on it.

 

“Excuse me Monsieur can you spare us a moment?” my father grabbed the man and showed him the opening, there was my mother pretending to hold a baby. She was doing her fake tears routine.

 

“I’m sorry I’m in a hurry,” the short gentleman rambled on but I could see my mother breaking character and looking up at the man. She even dropped the ‘baby’ but it was only a few rotten vegetables.

 

“I know you,” she shouted with a shocked expression on her face.

 

“Yes you are that man who took our Misaka,” my father shouted at him with venomous rage.

 

“Mikasa,” my mother hissed back.

 

“No you got it wrong-” he grabbed Mikasa. Mikasa she left when we were young and was given a better life. A much better life, I envy her.

 

I look to the corner of my eye and there he was the infamous Inspector Dawk. This was the chance to save those two, “It’s the police, disappear. It’s Inspector Dawk.”

 

A group of shouts came and the gentleman grabbed Mikasa and ran off. Inspector Dawk walked up to my father and began to question him on what had happened. I did not want to hear this conversation so I strolled away and continued to walk the streets. Only a few steps away from my parents was Monsieur Kirschstein he too was walking aimlessly but his face changed like… like. Now I know the face I made when I first laid eyes on that man. The look on his face was the one of someone who had seen love at first sight.

 

I followed his eyes and he was staring directly at Mikasa. Everything good happens to her, except she lost her mother but besides that she has had a lovely life. I continued to stand in the street because if I were to take another step my heart would cause me to collapse. I went back to watching Monsieur Kirschstein he entered the empty building that all the barricade boys had claimed as their own for their revolution.

 

Mikasa was being led by the short gentleman still, she had a good four inches on him in height. Something like that would normally make me laugh but my heart had sunk too heavy. I had lost control over my legs and they were following Mikasa. I walked through many streets until I reached an iron gate that the two were entering, I stayed hidden behind a nearby wall. After a few moments I walked up to the gate inside was a beautiful garden with dozens upon dozens of flowers that I didn’t even know could be grown in these parts of France. The house was marvelous and large, its like something I’d seen in my dreams and only in my dreams. All this made me forget why I was upset and I felt a smile cross my face but as fast as it came it passed and I was sad again.

 

I sat next to this gate and thought about what went wrong. I understand most boys don’t feel this way about other boys but it doesn’t mean that it’s impossible right? What does Mikasa have that I do not? Wealth, beauty, long hair… she has a lot more than I do. I really should stop comparing myself to others.

 

I stood up and began the journey back to my home. It was small, cramped, and if it rained, like how it was going to tonight, it grew damp. But it was the only thing that would be constant in my life sadly though, even that wasn’t a guarantee. Monsieur Kirschstein was entering the building he still had the love stricken expression on his face that made my stomach twist and churn at the same time. I always wished when I saw him making that face that it was towards me.

 

When I entered and walked up the space where my room was, he was standing there.

 

“Oh Marco,” he cooed and it hurt so much, “I saw the most beautiful girl today.”

 

“Oh have you,” I put on my normal cheery voice. Now I’m happy I was raised by a woman who would put on a facade every time she woke up.

 

“Yes I did. Oh for shame I don’t even know her name. She had this long beautiful black hair all in ringlets and she had this lovely white lace dress and her face it was so… so…”

 

“Pretty?” I interjected.

 

“Yes oh how I would love to see her again. I would be forever grateful to whoever could help me,” he concluded.

 

“Well,” him being grateful is the closest I can get then I guess, “I know where she lives.”

 

He instantly shot up, he grabbed my shoulders, and again was only an inch away from my face. “You do? Oh Marco I knew you were my best friend for a reason.”

 

“Yeah,” I choked back my tears, “let’s go now.”

 

He followed me down the steps and out the building. Spouting off on his love for the ‘mysterious’ woman he fell in love with, I pretended to agree on how beautiful she was but I was on the verge of collapse. And as I was before I stood in front of the iron gate with the beautiful exotic flowers, and the magnificent house.

 

“Marco she has burst through my life like the music of angels,” he nearly sung, “and you are the friend who had brought me to her.”

 

There she was, in the same lace dress she had been wearing earlier in the day. She seemed in a daze, playing with a few lilac flowers that had been growing by an old tree. She whipped her head and was staring directly at Monsieur Kirschstein. She walked up to the gate and stared at him. I stood behind the same wall and my tears fell hot down my face.

 

“You look so radiant this evening fine lady,” he sung again, “my name is Jean.”

 

“Mine is Mikasa,” she had a song in her voice but held it back.

 

“Oh I don’t even know what to say,” he sang back.

 

“Then do not speak,” she declared back. Her face was stern and steady. I could still be safe it doesn’t appear that she has similar feelings.

 

“I am lost,” he addressed.

 

Her face lightened up and she took his hand with her own through the bars, “I am found.”

 

I felt the dagger go through my chest. I fell into the position I had been sitting in and sobbed. Sobbed harder than any moment before. Loud footsteps began echoing through the street, Monsieur Kirschstein and Mikasa ran back to their respective homes.

 

It was my father who was tramping through the streets, he was shouting at the men with him that the bastard who stole his child lived here. They were going to steal and only God, lord in Heaven, knows what else they were going to do.

 

“You can’t do that father,” I shouted at him wiping the tears from my face.

 

“Oi Marco you better be quiet or else,” he walked up to me and mimicked a smack. He started back to his legion of men he had gathered. I need to act fast, no matter how upset I am it still doesn’t give me the right to ruin Mikasa’s life. Besides it feels a little good knowing he’s happy I guess. So I screamed, I screamed bloody murder. My father ran back to me, shouting words of abuse, and smacked me across my face.

 

I ran in the opposite direction of all the others, I rubbed my face but it barely hurt to be honest. As I predicted earlier it began to rain and rain hard. I’m on my own now, I can’t pretend any longer that he’s here with me, I know he’s not holding me now but it can’t hurt to dream he is. Every time I am lost I close my eyes and he always finds me.

 

The rain is shining across the pavement, the trees are full of starlight, it’s beautiful. But all I see is him and me. I know it’s in my mind, I’m the one talking to myself and not to him. He is blind to me but I still believe that there is a way for us.

 

I love him, but tomorrow he’ll be gone. Without him the world will keep on changing, I love him. But all my life I’ve been pretending. I know without me his world will continue, a world that’s full of love and happiness that I will never know. I love him.

 

“I love him,” I whispered aloud. I collapsed again in the street and I couldn’t tell if the water on my face was the rain or were my tears.

 

I walked back over to the beautiful house that had crushed my heart and a small note was stuck in the gate. It was for Monsieur Kirschstein, it took all my strength not to tear it up that moment but the good in me stuck it in my pocket. It looks like Mikasa is leaving and will not return, I feel terrible for finding joy from this but now I have my chance back.

 

The next morning I was in my bed preparing myself for a revolution that I had before only supported and not planned on fighting in. I wore my nicer jacket, my hat, and even my red scarf. Only one day more with him not caring, imagine the life we could have shared, but he never saw me. Just one more day on my own.

 

We were all supposed to meet in the streets as the hearse that carried General Pixis's corpse passed the streets. It wasn’t long for everyone to come out I was about four people away from standing next to Monsieur Kirschstein. A low drum beat echoed through the streets and Monsieur Jaeger began singing quietly to himself _Do you hear the people sing? Singing a song of angry men?_

 

Others began joining in and soon we were all singing.

 

_Will you join in our crusade?_

_Who will be strong and stand with me?_

_Beyond the barricade_

_Is there a world you long to see?_

_Then join in the fight_

_That will give you the right to be free!_

 

Monsieur Jaeger and Monsieur Kirschstein got up atop of the hearse and were waving flags valiantly over it.

 

_There is a life about to start_

_When tomorrow comes_

“To the barricade,” Monsieur Jaeger shouted and all people, including myself ran towards a designated area mapped out earlier. Atleast I presume so I showed up to only one meeting. Gun shots were all around us a few people had fallen already to their fatal blows. We were being urged to grab all furniture and build the aforementioned barricade.  People in homes above the street were tossing chairs and dressers and etc. a plenty. We were pushing everything to build a wall.

 

Monsieur Jaeger began talking to Inspector Dawk asking him to help out. I guess he’s all for our revolution, that’s a surprise. It didn’t take too long with all the people who came to help for the wall to be built. When the chaos subsided we sat by our little barricade cleaning our guns and waiting for Inspector Dawk to return to us. I stared at Monsieur Kirschstein with every chance I had. But as every day before he never saw me.

 

“He’s back,” a barricade boy shouted pointing outside the barricade. Inspector Dawk was standing outside of it. Monsieur Jaeger came out of the building he had been in and began conversing loudly about what plans the soldiers had for us.

 

“They do not plan on fighting tonight. They plan on starving you out,” he announced. Everyone began to lighten up around, even I did, I do not want to fight tonight- at all- to be honest.

 

“Liar,” a young child squeaked, he had medium length blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He couldn’t have been older than eight.

 

“Good evening Inspector,” the child hopped down from where he was standing, “this man here is Inspector Dawk.”

 

Many of the men from around grabbed Inspector Dawk. Monsieur Jaeger patted the small child on the head, “good job little Armin you are the top of the class.”

 

They began rushing Inspector Dawk into a building, I could hear swearing, yelling, and even fighting coming from the building. I looked around and Monsieur Kirschstein was standing near the building, I’m fearful he may not come out of this revolution intact.

 

Suddenly footsteps could be heard coming from the street outside the barricade. There were dozens of soldiers, they even had cannons. It was a stare down for a moment between the barricade boys and the soldiers. It was Monsieur Jaeger who shouted “Fire.”

 

All men were on there feet on both sides all firing. There were shots being fired from all directions, I stayed on the ground because I never had any intention on fighting. I will if I have to but I will not now. I looked at the barricade from the small safe spot I had stayed in, Monsieur Kirschstein was climbing the barricade and a soldier was on the other side about to shoot him. I acted fast and climbed up it and took the gun in my hand, I heard the gunfire but Monsieur Kirschstein appeared fine. My stomach hurt, everything around me turned to fuzz and all I could see was Monsieur Kirschstein. I fell to the bottom of the barricade and laid against a tipped over dresser, I heard silence and then someone shouting back.

 

“Jean you almost got us all killed,” one of his fellow barricade boys yelled at him.

 

“You almost got yourself killed,” another shouted.

 

“You saved us all,” Monsieur Jaeger said in a comforting tone.

 

This was my chance I reached over and grabbed his leg. He turned his face was painted with confusion, “Marco when did you join us? Why are you here?”

 

“I kept this from you,” I pulled out the piece of paper from the home that had broken my heart, “it’s from Mikasa. I’m so sorry.”

 

He kneeled down next to me and read the slip of paper. He looked down at me again shoving the paper in his pocket. He put his hand on my stomach and he had an expression of horror across his face but I could only smile, “What have you done?”

 

I felt rain hit us, I don’t know how but my stomach was already soaked. His hand stayed lying there and I looked him in his fear stricken eyes.

 

“Don’t you fret M’sieur Kirschstein,” I choked out, “I don’t feel any pain. It’s only a little fall of rain.” I threw my hand up to show but it weakly fell back down. “You are here and that’s all I need to know. You will keep me safe, you will keep me close, and remember rain makes the flowers grow.”

 

His face twisted from one of confusion to one of passion, it was the face he made when he talked about something he loved. “You will live Marco. If only I could heal your wounds with words of love.”

 

My heart soared and I smile more bright than I had in my entire life. “Just hold me now. Shelter me and comfort me.”

 

He held me in his arms and looked me in the eyes and I swore I saw a faint look of love in them. “You could live if I could show you how. I won’t leave you.”

 

He held me tighter and the tears in his eyes were going down his face faster, I could tell his were of sadness but mine were tears of happiness. They were tears of love.

 

“Rain can’t hurt me now, they’ll wash away the pasts,” I gasped out, “I’ll sleep in your embrace at last. The skies are clearing and I am at rest.”

 

“Hush dear Marco,” he stroked his thumb against my cheek I thought I was blushing but I don’t think I can any longer. “I’ll stay here until you are sleeping.”

 

“And remember rain will make the flowers grow,” I faintly whispered back.

 

“... make the flowers grow,” he faded in his voice.

  
I felt his lips grace my forehead and I heard his muffled cries as everything went to black for the last time.

**Author's Note:**

> I have been wanting to write this since I first watched Les Miserables. Fan art is what fueled it being completed.
> 
> I'm actually kind of sad now.
> 
> Tumblr: (radioactive-rabbits.tumblr.com) you can chat with me anytime about anything and everything.
> 
> And I hope you enjoyed reading it as much I enjoyed writing it.


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